You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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