My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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