hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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