how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
