No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
