i need an iv and a liver transplant
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
