Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
