There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
