found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
