he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
