Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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