you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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