If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
