i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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