Cold hands, warm shart.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
