There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
