so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
