After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
