I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize