currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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