.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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