the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
