Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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