Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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