She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize