OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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