that's an acceptable place to lick
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
