Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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