Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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