Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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