No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
