Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
