Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
