I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The adults are the big ones right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
