I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
