So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
