The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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