No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize