I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize