he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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