But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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