I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
