dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
