How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I checked into jail on foursquare
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
