i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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