I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
