His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
