bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
