Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
