Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
