On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
