i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Can I color on your dick again?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
