I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
