I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
