Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
