She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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