You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize