I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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