I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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