ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
