Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
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He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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