So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
